Ranveer Singh-Deepika Padukone wedding: Shallow stories of a deep affair

Deepika-Ranveer's wedding pics (source- Deepika Padukone instagram account)
Who: The absence of pictures means an abundance of memes. It is a social media calamity. Actors Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh are married. And for the restless men, women and trolls who have been bombarding Twitter with Ram ki hui Leela captions, the couple has released at least two pictures as proof — they wore gold and red for their Konkani ceremony and deep red for the Sindhi one. And yes, Padukone and Singh’s trousseau was designed by Sabyasachi. You can worry about getting your rip-offs made later. For now, that’s all you need to know and all you get to see.

What: The only two pictures that the couple shared should also calm the nerves of the unlikely underachievers — the relentlessly hardworking and obnoxiously intrusive paparazzi, who followed the couple and their handful of guests all the way to Lake Como in Italy. What they captured — ah, those spectacularly hazy pictures of arriving guests and one of Padukone’s ad nauseam. But the real trouble started when the “entertainment journalists” began to innovate.

Where: It was almost like saying, yeh dekhiye, yeh hai wo ghar jahan Deepika karengi griha parvesh. Stories were published on Twitter and Facebook about the atmospherics of Singh’s residence in Mumbai sprinkled with presumptuous details about how its inhabitants are restlessly waiting for the couple to return. The house was decorated with “serial lights and flowers” and “branches of trees were lit up”, reported one of the top trending stories that was tweeted and retweeted with the righteous gusto of breaking news. It almost felt like photographers had broken into Singh’s house. While the “reporters” who were with the couple in Italy (not) moved on to talking about Lake Como, the weather and the wedding venue, which were supported by pictures of flower arrangements on the outer grills and the barricades outside, even the security men refused to pose.

How: Genuine readers soon backed off, having fully understood that there was nothing to read or see about the high-profile wedding. It was time for the comedians, absurdists and trolls to take over. Comedian Vir Das pulled a deep one. He wrote: “I have to find a new hashtag when people think I’m being thoughtful and misspell my name. Apparently #DeepVeer is taken.” Virushka and Niyanka are now officially passé.

Not just Singh and Padukone from the scenes of kahan hai tu?.

Any high-profile event these days is also a fast-action marketing exercise for brands. Sabyasachi was not overreaching and Amul was expected. But then came the raunchy ones. Being promoted by Singh himself, Durex took liberties and posted: “Congrats Deepika and Ranveer for officially putting a ring on it”, along with the caption, “We have got you covered”. The comments below had a video with Singh rapping, “Don’t hold back”, his promotional video for the apparel brand Jack&Jones. Rival Manforce, too, jumped right in with their boxes: “Here are a few options for you to wear on your D-day”.

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